the change

When I did the angel painting, I did not know it would usher me into another thing. Two angels sitting calmly reassuring me that what was coming next would be ok. My Dad was still alive when I painted them. So it made sense to do a show of angels because that was real. But after he died and all the grief started I sort of avoided painting because I did not want to do a bunch of sad paintings.

It was mercy that I had to get this show done so I had to start at some point. so in December I wrestled with several angel girls that did not speak to me at all . I actually had this repulsion to them which was weird.

I got this urge to just do some black and white paintings and then they were abstracts. I loved painting them and I love looking at them. Maybe they look dark and dreary to someone else but to me they are so soothing and warming and life affirming to me.

an artist has to paint what is real to them or it will have no lasting affect.

Life is not a cartoon where everything is predictable and easy to understand. It is textured and deep and lovely in all the time we have. This is what I am painting for a time. These are new and it is a total risk for the gallery to show something totally new when people expect a certain look from me, but my gallery owner is brave and she is showing them.

I asked myself if I had a year to live what would I paint and this is it. Who knows how long a person has. You have to do the deep things when they come, not wait for the luxury of acceptance . That is what art is.

I read another blog and the artist said that if your work is loved by all then you aren’t taking enough risks. this is one time where better safe than sorry is not applicable.IMG_1235