Category: Creativity

And then I got my first real break. She knew someone in the city that could help me and the rest was a string of wonderful events that lead up to my first show.

No that did not happen right away. I got all this encouragement from this woman and started to do something concrete about it. That is when I started to sell on the side of the street like a bum really. How come nobody was buying my drawings? Could not figure it out.

I got a scholarship to art school and went two weeks and dropped out. They couldn’t teach me anything.
the path I chose was pain. There are always two ways to learn: listen, and pain. I always chose pain. Seemed more real like that.

I did sell some paintings in coffee houses so that was fun but I did not do the gallery show thing till much later. It took a lot of living on the edge to give my work an edge. When I look at it now it is so much like my true self that I cannot believe it. So rough around the edges. Which I like. Otherwise it would be a lie.  More tomorrow.

source photos from mloskot and Josh [unemployed IT dude]

When I was young and lived in San Francisco, I could have just gotten a job and been fine but I was determined to be an artist and nothing else.

The arrogance of youth is astounding. Not only did I refuse to work at a normal job, I thought people would just magically come to me and buy my work . I just waited for something to happen. I lived in a hotel room  in a cheap part of town and and painted in my room.

Looking back I cannot believe I did not die. the people that lived there with me in that wonderful hotel were everything from prostitutes and drug dealers. All the cream of society.

I did get a job eventually when I could not even pay the hotel rent that turned out to be a total answer to prayer(even though I never prayed back then) A woman called me and asked me to be a live in cook for two people. In exchange I would get some money and a place to live and Get this= An Art Studio. I never had one of those before. Even though I did not know how to cook I said yes (also the astonishing wisdom of youth). I went to the library and got Joy of Cooking and read it. Every meal was the first time I ever made it. The people I worked for had no idea.

One night I had to make a dinner party for 6 as some famous person was coming. It turned out to be a woman who had been married to a famous artist which I cannot remember now but it was a biggie. Anyway she was connected  with the art world.  She heard I was an artist and  decided to check out my work. Guess what happened next. to be continued…

I have a friend that pointed out the fact that in all my blogging about my most intimate life experiences I did not mention God. This is not good as God is a big part of my life. Let me tell you how I came to be a christian artist.

First I was always an artist then I became a Christian so I guess that makes me a Christian artist. Christian artists do not have to paint only paintings of Jesus. You can paint what you always paint only you have a different point of view than before.

Before I was a dark painter. I loved to paint violent, upset paintings. I just did. Then I had a baby and painting a lot of pink and pastel paintings. But they were all kind of drippy and without direction and really pretty crude.

After I met the Lord (it was not like I wanted to get to know Him, either) I kept painting just as before but I felt different. Now I cared whether I was offensive and abusive in what I was painting. I wanted God not be be ashamed of me, so I still did the girls only they were the best I could do. I worked much harder because I saw art as my mission. Before it was just blind energy.  Now all my creativity comes from Someone doling it out to me on a regular basis. I still have to do all the exercises to make it come out fast but I do have a constant stream of love that really helps get me through all things.

What if everything you imagined would start to come true the second you imagine it? What would you imagine? This exercise is not without its pitfalls. You have to think it through. At first you would think, “oh boy this is great.” But then you would have to think out the consequences.

Example. I would like to be a famous artist that could paint all day long because there was a big demand for my work.  The consequence is I would lose all my freedom to paint now and I would be in the studio 10 hours a day and I would be on the phone the rest of the time managing my manager. I would not be able to take care of my granddaughter all day anymore, I could not go to Soap Lake unless I was going to paint. You never get something for nothing. It always has a price. I would lose my anonymity.

Therefore what I wish is to have my life just the way it is now. Which is perfect.

WELL.  I know what makes a great show. Its a show that you don’t forget ever because you connect with people on a deeper level than normal. They really really look at your work and really really see your soul and connect with what you saw and fall in love with what you fell in love with. That is a great show.

That happened in Soap Lake. Both of us had that experience with the crowd. They were not just talking to each other and having a party. That is what it is all about. its not the sales because everybody doesn’t have tons of disposable income these days so it is not that.

We are showing them something at a show. It is probably like a band that is playing and everybody is going crazy for what you are playing. They hear your true voice and answer back. Its like that at a great show. Its not just painting on a wall. It is our deepest vision hanging there and that is no small thing to put out there. That is why it is sometimes scary before the show. I think Susie and I had a world class experience.