March 2017 - Page 4 of 5 - Sharika Roland

March 10, 2017March 10, 2017

The beautiful

I miss the beautiful. The Catholic church knows how to do beautiful . Protestants, not so much. Catholics are great at pomp and ceremony and incense,, The Protestants seem to like no decoration .

This goes counter to my own taste . It seems to me that making the church beautiful is part of worship. We get dressed up for church.

And I wanted an art church to go to 10 minutes after I was converted. I will mention how that all went down in a later blog.

I think artists need to do some kind of sacred artwork to give back to the one who made them that way. Where do the ideas come from?? I sometimes look at a painting after its done and am pretty surprised that I painted it, shocked even.

Once I got to do a mural for behind the alter. That was intimidating but also thrilling at the same time. Why they entrusted me with that job, who knows, but the elders and pastor did. I came up with a plan and they all approved it. But in the middle of execution of said plan, the Holy Spirit sort of took over and I ended up with a radically different painting. They paid me in advance and here I show up with a different thing. However I told them what happened and they all agreed it was better than the original idea. I wish I had a picture of that big old thing, but I don’t.

Lesson for the future. Always document your work because you never know when you will need it.

March 8, 2017March 8, 2017

Joy

This blog is not linear . It will go all over the place because that is how life is.

When I was a new Christian, I found a woman who became my mentor. I met her from another friend but anyway she appeared in my life and we did become friends. She was the maid of honor at my wedding.

I would call her and we would take for hours on the phone and she totally helped me navigate what was what. It was great that she bothered with me. I remember once she told me she had prayed for me when she just heard about me. She said she felt impressed to do this.

I think about this now 30 some years after that happened. I don’t know what I would have done without her. You cannot be alone and just float through this. you need someone to come along side of you.

She was like an angel. Who knows, maybe anything I do now that is good is because she came into my life.

March 6, 2017March 7, 2017

the first fruits

I had no idea how to do this thing, but it didn’t matter. It is a lot like confronting a new canvas. Pure white untouched by your brush yet. waiting to be created on.

that is what it was like. Waiting to be created on. I was a blank canvas.

I remember a story about a choreographer who just went into the studio and started stomping around till she had an idea. A step , a start of a new dance.

I went to the church across the street from my apartment. First Presbyterian . Across from my place.

all brick and beautiful. I marched in with my son and we sat in the back. They put a daisy on my lapel to show I was a new person so people would talk to me. A sweet thing really. I liked it. Graham Kerr was sitting in the pew in front of us( My son and myself) He was pretty famous for being the Galloping Gourmet. I had seen him on TV and now he was in front of me. So that was my first church experience as a new Christian. I think God had a sense of humor and knew what would impress me. Yeah it did. They wrote out the sermon and handed it out before you came in so you could read and listen at the same time. I still think that is a great idea. Keep you focused. I like the daisy too.

I knew zero. So I listened to the service and tried to learn the lingo. I was just day dreaming because it was totally foreign to me. Like listening to a service in Spanish.

Dude I was there to learn how to do this thing that happened to me. I have to remember this because after you are in the know after 30 years , all that becomes second nature to you. But at first it is Spanish. You tend to forget that when you are a pro. What it feels like when you know zero.

but it turned out zero is a great place to be…

March 6, 2017March 6, 2017

Who cares what I think

Do you care what people think?? Not just about you but about how they really think in their heart of hearts.

I was asking myself if I go around with a mask on. I would say yes. I am trying to not do that in this blog. The opportunity in a blog is more than just share ideas that others could use. Maybe being transparent has some value too. I know that I crave someone sharing their experience living in this world with me. So this whole Lent blog is about that. Plus find a mission statement along the way.

I don’t even know who I am writing to. But if I died today I would want to have said this so here goes.

Jumping in the water.

I used to hate Christians . I used to think they were self absorbed arrogant hypocrites that were always pointing their finger at me, So I hate them.

I know how that feels.

But then I was confronted with this thinking when a friend had become one and I knew he wouldn’t do anything stupid like that unless it was true. That is the part that scared me. What if it is true? I never asked myself that before. I was easier to just not ask that and have a million reasons to think it was all untrue. I fancied myself as being honest but I never questioned my beliefs either. Even though I was raised Catholic and had to go to church as a kid, the second I moved out I stopped that and felt righteous about it. Smug even, Yeah I would say smug. Because I was so smart.

So I was a little scared that maybe I was wrong and I did not want to be wrong. Plus what if it is true. Then I would have God on my side so that seemed good. But my friends will reject me because I would too if I were them.

I was scared to lose them. I was scared to lose God too.

But nobody wants to lose your friends. Luckily my closest friends did not reject me. I still had them so that was a mercy. Some people don’t get that luxury. Sometimes parents reject you . It could have been worse. I just know how I felt when I looked at Christians before.

Now I was one and how did that affect my art. Did I have to paint religious pictures now. I wasn’t sure what the rules were.

I remember it was pretty weird to change immediately from no to yes. I wondered what God was going to be like. How does this thing work?? Is He going to let me know somehow what to do. Apparently it is all written down in a book . I never looked at that book before. It is not something Catholics do. You would think that in 12 years in Catholic school they would have us look at it,

March 5, 2017March 5, 2017

Inside

It is impossible for artists to hide their insides. Any creative art will just spill out what is inside of your head and heart whether you try and hide it or not. It is like a red flag waving in the sun. Everyone can see it except you. My painting always felt outside of me. It is easier that way to be objective about your work so you won’t be vulnerable.

What a laugh. It was outside of me like a hole in the head.

Everyone has a valuable and unique experience .

This is just mine.

Art Therapy is a fantastic way to explore what you are actually thinking. Most people don’t do it , but artists can’t not do it. When you are young you don’t know this though. Its all about careers and talent and shows and identity in a more abstract way.

Hopefully when you are older , there is more reflection.

Mission Statement, looking at your reflection in a pool..

You don’t want to die without knowing your mission statement.

I am grateful for Ann Rae and her challenging mission statement question.She said that it is not what you think. Its not just describing your art. It’s more than that.