I love it when people are opinionated. I love it when they say they are opinionated. What else is there to choose from, non opinionated? What you have no ideas in your head at all and are like a black hole that just sucks everything into its path.
Opinionated people a blessing to me. I know where they stand. I can know how they think and maybe they will share why they think that way. We all have reasons for thinking the way we do. I used to think one way about everything. It made sense to me given what I knew. Now I think another way because I got more information.
It says in proverbs “a way seems right to a man until he hears the other side.” I used to not care a lick about anything spiritual because I didn’t know anyone who thought that way. Nobody talked about that stuff so I thought well it must not be important. But now I think it is important and nobody talks about it because it might be important and they do not want that to be true so it is easier to not look at it. If you don’t look then it is not real.
That is what happened to me. Thirty years ago, someone told me a story about how they changed, so I thought, “Maybe this is real and I am afraid to look there. What if it is true? What if I am wrong about God not being relevant to me? What if I go to hell?” I thought that. Then I asked God to prove it to me.
I just looked a little in that direction just in case I was totally wrong. I thought man the stakes are pretty high if I am wrong. They actually couldn’t get much higher. I thought God was just something floaty and maybe there. I did not understand about how someone else had to make it possible to directly talk to Him. Jesus was just freak talk. It is okay to talk God but don’t say Jesus because that is when you go over the deep end. I did not know anyone who gave any importance to Jesus. I knew nothing except he died on a cross for some reason which seems pretty pathetic to me. I thought he sure did not die for me so what is al the brouhaha about. That is what I thought because that was my experience. I did not know that Jesus was the link. pretty much the missing link.
So I said, “if you are real, show me.” I said this to God. And then I was afraid He would. I was afraid that if it was true about Jesus then I would have to be a freak. and everyone would reject me as a freak and I would have no love. But then again I thought what if it is true and I am wrong then who cares if everyone rejects me. In the end ( which is pretty important) in the end I will be right and safe.
So I gingerly said ok if you are real show me. Then it was as if I was falling over a waterfall. I am not kidding. It felt like that. in a good way. Then I was not afraid anymore. It was like what was I afraid of. He is not scary. He is the sweetest thing you could ever experience.
But I am an artist and I was afraid I would have to paint religious paintings then on and I would be weird. But He is not like that. He made me paint how I paint and every painting I do is a gift from HIm so really nothing I paint is not ok. He changed me inside forever so it is ok to just be. I am an artist, This is how I think and this is what you call a testimony. It is just what happened to me.