That Dress

I have a big relationship with my paintings. Each one is not only a story but it is a part of my reason for living.  Maybe if I talk about the origin of my drive , it will be more meaningful for anyone out there who might suffer the same thing.

Even though my life was very wonderful growing up in many respects there was one thing that was not drilled into me. The feeling that somehow being feminine was somehow not as important as being masculine was something I picked up indirectly and have been fighting it ever since. I can remember being in first grade and being so afraid to bring a purse to school that I carried a cosmetic bag instead. In my first grade mind that was non feminine.

It just seemed too vulnerable.  It wasn’t that I did not like those things , I just felt like it would make me weak.

Now after all this time of painting women, the most pink and feminine paintings are my greatest effort to face that fear. They are the ones that are my fiercest fighters in this personal mission to appreciate this part of me.

The ability to be vulnerable when doing art is the most important aspect of it.

When you look at this painting,  you might feel this  on a visceral level  . This might be a universal struggle. If you don’t like it , it might be for the same reason.  Pink is hard to handle. It is the opposite of fluffy emotions. It is a hard core fight to be vulnerable. But without that , whats the point of even doing art?

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