Sharika Roland

We all have soft sides that we either show or don’t ever show. Our soft side is where we are vulnerable  and tender and it is closest to our deep hearts. Showing your underbelly to anybody is risky because they might not like what you are and you might get rejected in an area that is really you.

that is why most people save showing that side to a few people that have proved safe.

Sometimes someone will expose themselves in this area without the usual safety guards up. They just say well here I am.

I love people that have the courage to do that. They are my favorites in all the world. It makes me love them for their courage alone. You can feel instantly close to someone like that as you don’t have to go through all the stages. You just go to their home and that is it.

To live like that is dangerous to a point if you are afraid of pain and suffering at possibly being rejected but it also is wildly alive and freeing to now guard yourself. Don’t put up your dukes.

the cost of being safe is being lonely.

 

Ideas are like butterflies that appear suddenly and are full of wonder and beauty. They flutter by your face for a second, breeze across your mind, light on a twig or a flower bud and then just as quickly they are gone. It is always a surprise when you catch a glimpse of one out of the corner of your eye and sort of chase it with first your eyes and then maybe your legs just for a chance to get a better look for a second.

Ideas are like that. In the middle of just living sometimes one comes that  is out of nowhere and seems to light on your head for a second. An idea that maybe be something brand new or something that is the solution to a problem.

You just have to catch them before they leave because just like a butterfly they are visiting you just for a moment.

I don’t know how  many great ideas have come and gone with me but there is one thing that always happens. I think I will remember to write it down when I get a chance. Then by the time I get to a convenient place to do just that, its gone. Now what was that thought and why can’t I remember it.

So it is pretty depressing to lose a gift like that.

If you think of ideas as butterflies you will know to stop write and file right away. Keep a notebook on your body all the time. It is more important than that pesky cell phone.or keep a pen on you and write it on your arm. At least you will know where it is.keep a post it pad on the dash of your car and scrawl out key words so you can remember if you are driving.

Do you ever get an idea that feels like someone punched you in the stomach . Those ideas are important and you should not let them go because they also are on butterfly rings and will leave in a fee moments.

My granddaughter lost her first tooth the other day. a tooth is a part of our body that we lose that won’t decay,

I wanted to do a ceremony for her. The ceremony would consist of going to the bridge where her parents got engaged  and then throwing  the tooth into the pond under the bridge and saying a prayer that I found in a Jewish ritual book.

If you can imagine there is a special prayer for when you lose your first tooth.

That got me thinking about how important is where you are born  and lose your first tooth. the Place..

The place we are planted. Our jumping off spot. How important is that??

I wanted to do the ceremony to remind her that there is where her baby teeth are. Planted in the pond in the town she was born under the bridge her parents first became betrothed . When she is older she can tell her children ” that is  where my baby teeth are!”

that is where I began.

I think our roots are hand picked by God and we should respect that place where we started our lives out. Where we started out the journey of life. Our starting point.

Why is one house charming and another house not charming. What is the thing that you feel when you respond viscerally to  one look and not to another. I think that the reason we respond to well thought out design is it is  that it corresponds to our longing for beauty and relationship.

I had a friend that owned the most charming house I had ever set foot into. It was a small house in a beautiful neighborhood  in a well to do area in Seattle. The house was filled with leaded glass windows looking out to a garden .

It had curvy path to the front door. It had gardens you could wander through to ease yourself around the house. Even the bath looked at the garden

Every window was multilane leaded glass so it had the feel of being in a storybook.

Once upon a time house

How would living in a house growing in a house breathing in a house like that affect your life.

It is my contention that it would give you an innate sensibility to relate to and respond to beauty in every level of your life. You would develop a keen sense of refinement that would affect every aspect of your life.

Thats all. You learn refinement from your environment and great timeless design is one way to absorb it,

We are sponges and absorb everything that we look at and hear.

Maybe if jails were charming cottages that had classical music played only and had tea at four , the prisoners would develop a taste for beauty and want to go out and pursue things of a higher nature . Maybe it would get in their bones and they would call each other  Sport instead of some crass term that does not build anyone up.

 

 

People ask me all the time for ideas to decorate their house. I sort of have to ask them a lot of questions about what they like and don’t like and then just do what I like. every decorator in the universe does that. that is all they can do.

Listen and then try and incorporate some of the listening to what they like. that is what I do. I will never pick out things I hate.

But really people should be able to do it themselves. There are no rules. People say there are rules but they are broken all the time. Like what is art. that definition is broken all the time. Because it is not a massively important thing. A building won’t fall down and people won’t die if you pick out a certain color or style.

For that reason you should be able to do it yourself.

You just need to know what you like and most people don’t have a clue. It is a visceral response that you need to yes yes to one thing and no to another. But you have to have the gut feeling or nothing will make sense to you and you will be at the whim of someone else’s gut feeling.

Your own guts are important/ You should be in touch with them.

This is an exercise I do for my creativity class that you can do to build that gut feeling up.

close you eyes and imagine a space that can have anything in it at all. this place is your room and nobody else will ever see it . Only you. You have infinite money to spend on what ever you can think up.

You might think this is easy but it really tests your ability to decide what you like. It is a hard exercise but it is revealing and most people are surprised by what they come up with.

Here is the facts on decorating. If you are reflected in your house like a mirror you will be successful/ It should feel like you/ It should smell like you and be an extension of your spirit.

There is no right or wrong thing in deciding what you want in your house. If you want a fluffy green rug with purple trim then you must be a super fun person who is willing to take risks.

People respond to innermost being  and nobody thinks any better of you if you are stylish and whatever hip means.

I have a friend that has a Scooby Doo doormat . If you took one of her classes you might be intimidated by her skill but then you go to her house and see the doormat and that says she is accessible. She just is quirky too which is fun and wonderful.