Sharika Roland

It is impossible to prepare for a decision so much that you will avoid all pain in your life. People think that the right decision is the safest one.

You cannot foresee what will happen next till you get there. We are only given this minute to know what is available.

You might say I cannnot leave this job because I don’t have another one. I can’t do what I really want to do because it is risky.

Here is the biggest laugh/ THE REALITY IS LIFE IS ALWAYS RISKY BECAUSE WE CANNOT SEE WHAT WILL HAPPEN NEXT, AND LIFE IS NOT RISKY AT ALL BECAUSE WE ARE NOT IN CHARGE. Staying put may be the most risky. Let me tell you a story.

My husband wanted to buy a franchaise that made perfect sense to him. It was the perfect job and all the signs were pointing to this being a logical decision.   THIS JOB WAS NOT SOMETHING HE LOVED IT WAS JUST WHAT SEEMED LOGICAL. WE had to sell one of our rentals to buy the franchise and we had a buyer and it looked like everything was in order. The buyer had actually moved into the house as she was so in love with it and so excited to be there and it was going so well on her side we said sure move in.

My husband was in California to buy the franchaise and get the training. All the ducks were in order. God was in control and it looked good/

On the last hour of the last day of the contract the house sale failed because for some inexplicable reason the people buying her place pulled out, The last hour.

We freaked out. Then we were creative. We had to be.  Everything was riding on this deal. We thought we are going to die as we had tied all the money up in this venture.

We did not die . But here is the rest of the story. Six months  later the economy  crashed. My husband had the weird experience of meeting a guy that did buy the franchise instead of him. The guy was going under so fast it would make your head spin. We would have been in the same boat if that sale did not fail and stop him from buying the sure bet ,most logical thing.

Moral of the story is God is in control ( Thank You God) not us so do what you love. Not what makes sense.

I think it is impossible to make a reckless decision if you are being taken care of.

Walls are only in our minds. We say, “I have hit a wall I can do nothing else.” The reality is, you can do something else. You can always do something else.  Take the folks stranded at the airport.  What can they do while they wait for a plane to be able to fly out?  They can change plans, and instead of thinking, “I have to get back right now,”  they could think, “what can I do here now?”  You get extra time where you are now.  Maybe that is the best thing for you right now.  Maybe that is the thing that happens so that you meet your spouse or make a new friend or go a new place or have another adventure.

A good motto is “Change is good.”  Just because change is not what we like, who says what we like is what we need?

One time I was in New York and they had overbooked the flight and offered a thousand dollars to anyone who would stay over another day.  Like a total fool I thought “Oh no. I have to get home.” So I got on the plane.

Who knows what would have happened if I had stayed, much less getting a thousand dollars, which would have paid for the whole trip. I was afraid of change. I wish I was stranded in Paris right now with  no more money. Think of the adventures I would have and the people I would meet because we were all in the same circumstance. Trauma makes quick friends. Then I would have a story to tell when I (eventually) came home.

I would start writing about my experience and sell it to a newspaper. Everybody likes a good story. You don’t need things to work out all the time to be happy.

For anything to be incredible in my book, it must posses certain qualities. I never thought of it before, I never even was close to thinking of it, and I could have thought of it given the right circumstances. First, if I don’t understand it, and it is nowhere on my radar, then it can be incredible to someone, but not to me. I have to be able to really understand it.

Art is like that for everyone. It has to speak to you in a way that you get or you will not even appreciate it a little. To go to the level of understanding new things you have to first realize that you have the ability to understand anything and make some kind of effort. The effort is always always always worth it. The more things you understand the more you can understand, so that is why it is good to go outside of your comfort zone.

Take art again for an example. You might only like realistic paintings and abhor abstracts. If that is the case you should study abstract painting and make a concerted effort to see a lot of it. Soon you would get it. Let me tell you about abstracts. they are not just paint thrown on. They are complex studies of space and time. Helen Frankenthaler did wonderful girl abstracts which are very different from say Mark Rothko. Her paintings are full of female energy and studies of color and expanses of space. To me her paintings are rife with joy and vistas of deep contemplations. They are like looking at the sky that keeps changing. They make you feel like you are flying through the clouds. On the other hand Rothko work is here on earth. He looks at the horizon over and over and does not look up. There is plenty to see looking straight ahead too.

Look and see.

Painting: Helen Frankenthaler “Mountains and Sea”

What I have learned best is what I do not know. I do not know how to be gentle. I do not know how to be selfless and humble.  I do not know how to be careful of what I say.  There always is a flip side to your strengths. The other side is of course your weakness.

It is a fine line to learn to walk in humility and be a confident person. Also a fine line to being courageous and being gentle. Usually one will take over the other.  I admire people who are gentle and strong. What that looks like is someone who is not defending themselves but others, and someone who is thinking about conquering lands so that the greater good is accomplished.

I think of Jesus of course as modeling that. He could have obliterated everyone in HIs way but he remained meek.
Strength without gentleness is usually cruel. There are many examples of that as you know. I need not go into them because that is by far the easiest road to take.

The same goes for mild people by nature. It is equally hard for them to show strength when it is needed.  In this difficult world full of people with all these tendencies, it is wonderful to have Someone to turn to for help. Someone so much bigger than ourselves that it is astounding that He even lets us live one more minute.

Painting:  VanDyck, Suffer Little Children to Come Unto Me

One of the most helpful things I have learned over the years is not to take myself too seriously. That said, you should  be very serious about yourself. On the one hand, you don’t want to go marching around with a better-than-thou attitude. You also don’t want to walk around with a lesser-than-thou attitude.

I have found when I slip into the latter, I have all kinds of excuses for not doing hard things. “It is not my comfort zone”, “So-and-so is better at it than me; let them do it”, “I was never any good at that, so why even go there.”

Harumph . Those are big-time cop outs and are tremendously selfish and wicked. I think you should try everything because you might have something I need. I want it . I want you. I need you, and Everybody else needs you too. So stop complaining and making excuses . THE ENTIRE WORLD NEEDS YOU. because there is only one you in the entire world. Ever think about that????