Jelly Arms

Putting off working out is like putting off your taxes. It accrues interest every single day. This the the horrible truth.

I started a difficult work out program today . My husband gets up at 5 every morning and goes to work out at 6 am. He has been doing it since June. He had to go to school and work full time and study  and take care of the houses for the next 9 months so he decided to work out to be strong enough to do it.


He changed into a molded body of steel. The change to his mind is the thing that was more impressive. He did all the work and then some

and still got up each day at 5 and worked out. He would come home drenched with sweat. sometimes he would be shaking and nauseous.. Yet he kept at it.

So now it is my turn at bat. Instead of laying in the nice warm bed , I have to join him.

I can hardly move my arms and I am sure it will get worse as the day goes on. Tomorrow I think we are doing more arms which seems nuts as jello can only do so much but I will go, Even if I lay on the mat and cry,

I will go

When you body is tested and pushed  your mind follows.

I used to teach aerobics when I was in my thirties . Now I am in my sixties so that is a little bit of a change. Somewhere I have to find the gal who used to push others to do their best. Now I need the pushing.

Discipline is Freedom

Updates to follow and also if it affects my artwork.

100 darling birds pouring out of the sky

Vulnerability is necessary to fall in love. It is also necessary to be an artist. You have to expose your underbelly to the process.

I would love to have met Matisse in person and spend a day with him or go for a walk with him.

When I look at his paintings I feel like he would be the sweetest man who had seen such beauty fall from his brush.

What would that be like to be sitting in front of the canvas and have one hundred darling birds pouring out of the sky.

I imagine that that is why he made the chapel. How could you not build a chapel and do all the art in it when you have had the experience that was his.

and ours

Every artist has that every time they face another blank canvas. They wait until one hundred darling birds pour of of the sky  but they will only come if you are totally vulnerable to them showing up and you don’t stop them by freezing  and thinking you are doing the work. You are not doing the work.

Waiting for the moment

When I am not involved

Looking toward the sky

Pausing for the sound

Of onehundreddarlingbirdstopour

right down all over me.

And make my hand turn

into a wing from Thee.


Morning prayer

What happens when things are going well when you are working

I was painting yesterday and things were going a little sideways and I could feel myself start to freak out and tense up.

It feels like a tidal wave coming of emotion or sort of despair and fear.

Instead of just go there I stopped what I was dong and wrote down what it feels like when things are going well. When I am in the zone. First and foremost it feels stress free. You are alive to the utmost and you are not aware of time passing or even feeling your body. Total absorption in your work in the best way possible in that there is nothing on the earth you would rather be doing. Then comes gratitude and  a sense of closeness to God( Like He is sitting right next to you and is smiling and you are playing together in the most fun game in the universe)

So you do not feel lonely at all even in the greatest stretch of the imagination,

You feel unalone but not crowded. It feels just right.

Plus it is so interesting and it is the most interesting thing ever that you could even think of.

Energy. You have tons and tons of Energy

You feel like your life has intrinsic meaning and you are important to be on earth at this time. Like you are a part of something greater than just yourself.

Utter Joy, you have utter joy and serenity at the same time.

So I wrote these things down and remembered how to get there. read over this list and you will get there,

But if you focus on how stressed you are the whole thing falls apart and the exact opposite occurs and if you are me you might even get mean and angry at people who don’t know what the matter with you it and you don’t know what the matter is  because it feels like a tidal wave.

but the wave is only in your head and your head can get you out of drowning and into surfing that wave and that wave can be your ticket to the best ride of your life.

This works on everyone in the world because that is how we are wired. Don’t let you logical left brain yell you into depression when your right brain will ride that puppy out and it will be great.

error: Please do not copy.