I did some paintings with the idea that these were just for me. I painted what I wanted to look at every second and this is what came out of it. It was a freeing feeling to just paint like I was on a desert island and nobody but me would see them. I looked at them when I was done and realized something.
The real me is color crazy. I could not get enough color on the canvas. I think the results are wild abandon paintings and like being here in this space right now. I need energy to put out and I need the paintings to help me do it. We are working together to build a life and I do want a big life so I have to paint a lot.
I am getting a picture of where I want to go with this art life. What I want is to sell so many paintings that we can go anywhere and paint. I do want to spend a lot of time painting other places besides France. Bali comes to mind and Italy and also Chile. And Mexico and New York. I want to spend time in Venice painting. That is the agenda for the next 10 years and I hope I can do all of them. Then I want to stay home and be a person who gives every penny she made away before she dies.
What do you want to do before you die?
Every once in a while I will paint over a painting that I feel is not as good as my new work. Many people have freaked out and said that if I needed a new canvas they would just buy me one. But that is not the point. If I can stand to paint over a painting then it is not as good as I thought originally.
Some paintings I would never paint over no matter how long it takes to sell. I would even go so far as to say that if I can do it, then I should do it. Even though there have been occasions that people have wanted to buy an old painting and now it has been painted over. That is just the way it goes.
There have been a few that I miss now and wish I had not killed them. One such painting comes to mind. It is this one you are looking at now. I miss her and wish I still had her around. I think other artists do this too and would love to hear from any that have done this.
People, myself included, sometimes don’t know they have freedom to do something different. As soon as you have success in one area you start to define yourself by that success. This is a trap. As soon as we start to say I am this or I am that, you close the other doors to everything outside of your experience.
It is like living in a house and thinking well this is it. this is the universe. There is a door on the house if you look and you can go out into the street and even drive away or fly away and do something else with new information. It was way way way more comfortable to “stay home.” Some people stay home their entire lives and then die.
That sounds like an awful life doesn’t it, but metaphorically speaking, we do that with our minds. Even if you are a world traveler and think you have seen it all, you just have a bigger house. Everybody should venture out. Everyday.
There is a little talked about issue that concerns art and women. if you are married to someone who makes a lot of money, it will hurt you. If you don’t have to over come all kinds of obstacles to get where you are and pay your dues in sweat and blood then nobody will care.
I was an art broker and one of the artists I represented was someone married to a wealthy man. It is not her fault her husband made a lot of money but it did color how everyone viewed her work. And because she did not have to worry about where anything was coming from, the resulting artwork was pretty but shallow. It sounds like being a bigot against wealth but it is true.
Your fellow artists wont respect you getting anything handed to you. And your work will not have the edge it needs to live for any length of time. Obstacles to overcome will make you a much better artist. If anyone disagrees with me I would love to hear it.