Sharika Roland

I was painting yesterday and things were going a little sideways and I could feel myself start to freak out and tense up.

It feels like a tidal wave coming of emotion or sort of despair and fear.

Instead of just go there I stopped what I was dong and wrote down what it feels like when things are going well. When I am in the zone. First and foremost it feels stress free. You are alive to the utmost and you are not aware of time passing or even feeling your body. Total absorption in your work in the best way possible in that there is nothing on the earth you would rather be doing. Then comes gratitude and  a sense of closeness to God( Like He is sitting right next to you and is smiling and you are playing together in the most fun game in the universe)

So you do not feel lonely at all even in the greatest stretch of the imagination,

You feel unalone but not crowded. It feels just right.

Plus it is so interesting and it is the most interesting thing ever that you could even think of.

Energy. You have tons and tons of Energy

You feel like your life has intrinsic meaning and you are important to be on earth at this time. Like you are a part of something greater than just yourself.

Utter Joy, you have utter joy and serenity at the same time.

So I wrote these things down and remembered how to get there. read over this list and you will get there,

But if you focus on how stressed you are the whole thing falls apart and the exact opposite occurs and if you are me you might even get mean and angry at people who don’t know what the matter with you it and you don’t know what the matter is  because it feels like a tidal wave.

but the wave is only in your head and your head can get you out of drowning and into surfing that wave and that wave can be your ticket to the best ride of your life.

This works on everyone in the world because that is how we are wired. Don’t let you logical left brain yell you into depression when your right brain will ride that puppy out and it will be great.

The most important thing is not get sidetracked. There is no such thing as multitasking  Everyone in the world does one thing at a time. If you know this you will do one thing at a time. It is a freeing thing to not try and do two things at once which is really doing two things not very well.

Plus our world is so full of distractions now that you cannot get really focused unless you unplug your life while you are doing something. Constant barrage of talk  radio or Facebook or texting( Lord why did they invent that) makes our lives worse.

The funny thing about being still is that it forces you to reset your brain so you can focus. I often wonder if the number of ADHD cases are indeed exacerbated by these constant distractions.

Cable Tv is also a horrible source of a million commercials blinking in front of your eyes. It is a wonder we can focus on anything at all in this society.

How can you manage your limited time , your precious time, your only available time, with dozens of distractions constantly assaulting your mind. Our minds must be lit up like a switchboard  and not in a good way.

More on this tomorrow.

Being the kind of person who loves to be in groups and do something new , I sign up for jobs like that. I love making it up and having a body of people around me to make it happen. What was once a dream , a whim, a desire, a hope is now an full blown into reality event. Events for me are intoxicating. I love the panic and the work and the meetings and the planning and the execution and the cleaning up the mess after. The reason I love it instead of dread it is one thing I realized one day.

The best part of life is problem solving. We get bored with everything going perfectly well and safe and tidy.

the wild love is in the chaos of problem solving.

Painters are problem solving all day long.What is the next brush stroke going to be. What color. How thick or thin, Where is this thing going.

A real artist does this . I don’t care who you are. If you are an artist you don’t have a clue what you are going to do till  you do it. That is EXCITING!

Events or Poems or Paintings are all driven by the same thing. Courage to just move your body in the direction of what you want. You don’t have to know anything first. In fact knowing nothing is sometimes best as you might come up with a new way to do something and not just rely on what worked before. Not just doing what worked before is the most challenging and scary and fulfilling and necessary thing in any creative endeavor.

When you encounter a really good painting it will sit with you and make its mark. That mark is its weight.

Every masterpiece has this weight  and that is why you may feel so tired when you have seen a lot of them in a short amount of time. It is not a bad weight that will be sad and tired but instead the kind of tired when you are exhausted from running a long way. A good full satisfied feeling.

Our souls yearn for beauty and meaning and understanding .

I am pretty sure that is why God made us with the ability to make art.

When we are in the presence of a really great design or dance or music it does leave a mark.

On your soul

It is a thumbprint

And you will never be the same.